I think we’d become so different anyway, our lives were somewhat different. My wife never realized I was away as much as I was. He’d offer to go grocery shopping for his wife so he could grab an extra half hour with his mistress. He’d go out on weekends to play softball and get there late after seeing the other woman. She lived only a few blocks away so he could see her whenever he left the house. Right/msnbc/Sections/TVNews/Today show/Today Books/TodayBooksRELATIONSHIPS/2008/SEPTEMBER/TruthAboutCheating.jpg259390000right#000000 told me he saw his mistress on his way home from work almost every day. Remember, it’s not proof that he’s cheating, but it’s pretty clear that he’s close, and there should be no waiting on talking about changes to make your marriage better quickly. It’s worth discussing and trying to get him to articulate any dissatisfaction he may have in his life that causes him to want to spend less time at home or what new development has caused this sudden wanderlust. When you start to notice that your husband is spending less time at home, watch out and find out what’s going on with him. Sometimes men will tell their wives to trust them because “I could cheat during my regular day if I wanted to.” Although it’s true that you can’t possibly keep tabs on your husband’s whereabouts during the workday, it still seems that cheating men find extra time to slip away from home, and not just during work hours. It’s equally telling that during the affair 61 percent of the men spent more time away from home. If you can catch the signs in time you might avoid the pain of infidelity and be able to repair your relationship. This warning sign and the ones below indicate not only that your husband is cheating but are also a precursor to his cheating. What’s quite fascinating is that the majority of the men started spending more time away from home before they cheated. Both lists were quite similar, with only a couple of differences.įifty-five percent said more time spent away from home was a sign that they were close to infidelity, and it went up slightly to 61 percent when they were involved in infidelity. I then asked them for warning signs that they were involved in infidelity. My research asked men to detail the warning signs they thought they gave their wives that hinted or told them they were close to an infidelity. Was it possible that her husband had decided to be healthier and enjoy life a bit more as part of his midlife crisis without cheating at the same time? After all, she figured men do hit midlife and do some interesting things. But when she approached him he was emphatic that it was untrue. Robin was convinced by the book she read that these were dead-on signals that her husband was cheating. Her husband was 53 and had recently bought a black convertible, started working out, ran his first marathon, and dyed his hair. Robin was 47 and had two teenage daughters. When I spoke to my sister and dearest friends we all decided that so many applied to all of us, we didn’t know what to believe.” “I read a book that gave me tons of signals that a man was cheating, but it was frankly overwhelming.
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